Animated Broom

I’m, umm, starting a new, probably hopeless project. But I thought it would be cool to write poems about some of the creatures in the Pathfinder 2 Bestiary since that’s the system my husband and I are currently using.

Also, sometimes the current post for my Skull & Shackles game doesn’t really open up much for me to share with you in poem-form, like the Slipcove post. There were no poems written for their time in Slipcove. So this will allow for a break from the pirate songs and sea shanties for me.

To that end, I’ve come up with a character in my mind. Her name is Vyscaria, and her story is that she’s a rather old gnome who’s seen quite a bit. She has primarily worked as a cataloger of various sorts. She’s being moved to cataloging ‘monsters’ lest she suffer The Bleaching. Anyway, that’s what I’ve come up with for now. Perhaps I will decide more about her as time goes on.

My thought with this line of poems is that they will be poems a DM could share with a party to give them some idea of what they’ll be up against fighting particular monsters. To that end I intend to sprinkle in actual facts about their stat blocks. I’m also linking to the Archives of Nethys page for each monster I write about. Enjoy!


From the Journal of Vyscaria

Spare an old gnome your judgments. I’ve taken up this hobby recently… You see, my hair started getting paler. I’m convinced. And I’ve always been good at categorizing. For a long time that’s how I found new experiences and learned new things. Working first for mundane tasks, categorizing store inventories, warehouse inventories, ship manifests… Eventually working at libraries and magic shops and for wizards. I’ve had a knack for it, and it’s let me move between subjects in a way that keeps me interested. But I think at this point I have to put all of my skill into something a bit different… So rather than stay in the safe confines of a building or town… I’m studying monsters. Yes, monsters. I use the term loosely. I plan to study angels and fiends and constructs and beasts… Monsters. I’m sure many of them would be offended to be included under such a libelous label, but in the end I imagine the audience most interested in these writings will be adventurers… And they would not recognize what it is they’re seeing if I called this a creature collection.

And… and yes.. I started close to home. What? Animated Brooms are useful. They save so much time!


Animated Broom

Not very quick, but rather lean,
These mindless constructs sweep and clean,
But if their bristles come to harm,
They show no fear and no alarm.

More hardy than your average broom,
They freely travel room to room.
They do not bleed or know disease,
And poison they shrug off with ease.

Never does a broom feel fatigue,
Nor care for matters of intrigue.
No broom has means of conversation;
They tend their tasks without cessation.

Their vision does not need the light,
And they keep vigil day and night.
When they detect another’s motions,
They obey their maker’s notions.

If you should fight them rest assured,
Invasive dust will be endured,
As bristles swat against your skin
Until their task begins again.

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